A Non-Hallmark History of Valentine’s Day
Alright, I’m going to be honest. I’ve never been the biggest fan of Valentine’s Day. First of all, it’s just way too close to my birthday. It also doesn’t help that for many Valentine days, I was single. I’m sure we can agree there’s few things more annoying than watching everyone celebrate a day for lovers when you don’t have one yourself. I managed the pain by going to the store the next day, and enjoying the chocolates in the half-off bin that, like myself, were left behind on February 14. Once I found myself a nice fellow and got married, I still didn’t warm up to Valentine’s Day. Something about the whole thing just felt off to me. The over priced flowers, the boxes of chocolate bigger than my head, the aisles and aisles of pink and red cards… I just couldn’t get into it.
Perhaps it was my inner senses tingling that, like most things in history, Valentines Day has a darker history than flowers and cards. So, recently, I finally dug into it. As it turns out, I’m not the only one that’s had some bad luck on Valentine’s Day.
It all started with a man who we know as “St. Valentine of Rome.” A lot of his history is cloudy, and some historians believe that the “St. Valentine” we know and love might actually be multiple saintly figures rolled into one. Be that as it may – here is the gist of the legend: St. Valentine lived in Rome (or thereabouts) in the Third Century AD. At that time, the Roman emperor Claudius II had little use for the newer Christian religion, and instead worshiped the art of warfare. He was tired of his soldiers getting distracted by their wives and family commitments. Wanting to do something about it, he made marriage illegal for soldiers. But there was just one problem. There were so many soldiers that already had a sweetheart, and they weren’t keen on letting them go. Enter the brave and the bold St. Valentine. Ever a preacher of love, he defied Claudius’s law and performed marriage ceremonies for any love birds who needed him. While he was at it, he gave shelter and aid to Christians facing persecution from the Roman Empire. Young lovers and Christian fugitives the countryside over kept him busy for quite some time.
Unfortunately, nothing that good stays secret. Word reached Emperor Claudius, and in exchange for Valentine making love and not war, he was arrested and thrown into prison. While imprisoned, St. Valentine made the acquaintance (and some sources say took a fancy to) the jailer’s blind daughter Julia. He said fervent prayers for her healing, and miraculously restored her sight. It was a miracle by the church’s standards, but it wasn’t enough to sway Claudius from his decision to put Valentine to death. So, the doomed saint wrote a farewell to his friend Julia, and signed it – “Your Valentine.” It was the world’s first Valentine’s Day greeting, although written under not so lovable circumstances. Later, Valentine was taken to a torture chamber where he was beaten, clubbed, and stoned. When none of that killed him, he was beheaded on February 14, and buried near the Via Flaminia.
St. Valentine’s violent martyrdom was honored in the typical Catholic Church fashion – by marking the day of his death as “St. Valentine’s Day.” However, the church didn’t put much of a romantic spin on it. At that time, the only love connected with February 14 was the Pagan holiday of Lupercalia. It involved a lot of drinking, and a match making lottery in which women put their names into jars, and young men drew the name of the woman that would be his “lover” for the duration of the festival (February 13-15). In the fifth century, perhaps tired of all the revelry around February 14, Pope Gelasius I tried to expel Lupercalia by combining it with St. Valentine’s Day. So, maybe the church acknowledged the love part of the idea, but they expelled the drunken revelry and lottery-style hook ups.
The holiday we know today started emerging during the 14th and 15th centuries, with help from the famous writers Chaucer and Shakespeare. Their romantic love stories and poems gave birth to a new type of Valentine’s Day. By the Middle Ages, lovers were exchanging elaborate paper cards (some embroidered with real gold) and flowers on February 14. Another big development came a few centuries later. Like the Industrial Revolution shaped so many things, it also transformed the day of St. Valentine. Paper cards became factory-made and more readily available. The Hallmark Company of Kansas City, Missouri made Valentine’s Day explode in 1913. They found big business in mass producing valentine’s greetings, candies, cute cuddly stuffed animals, and all other things valentines. February 14 has been aisles of pink and red at the grocery store ever since.
This year, I will be a willing participant in Valentine’s Day for the first time in… well… ever. It’s never been my favorite holiday, but for some reason, knowing the history made me want to get in on it a little. A lot of the legend of St. Valentine has been clouded over with time and mystery. The legend might be just that – a legend. But if any part of it is true, then someone died because he believed that love was worth celebrating. So, perhaps I should honor his memory by giving it a try. We’ll see how it goes, but in the meantime, I wish all of you, no matter how you celebrate it – a very happy Valentine’s Day.
“The True Story of St. Valentine of Terni, Italy” – J. McDonald
“Celebrate Valentines Day” – National Geographic for Kids
NPR: “The Dark Origins of Valentine’s Day” (https://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133693152/the-dark-origins-of-valentines-day)
Wikipedia – “Valentine’s Day” and “St. Valentine”
“The Folklore of World Holidays” – R. Griffin & H. Shurgin
All photos by M.B. Henry. For more flower photos, please visit my photo gallery.